Obliterated.

2008-12-17T10:09:00.000-08:00

http://zesinon.livejournal.com

I know I know. One more time I change my url you can kick my ass when schl reopens.

I MISS YOU CEDAR!!!!
I MISS MY CIRCLE TABLE

as you can see i didnt put effort into this post but whyevers.

2008-12-13T23:25:00.000-08:00

I'm going back to lj where coolness still reigns.

Fuck,

haha find me.

2008-12-10T06:07:00.000-08:00

I'm so pissed cause this was supposed to be a nice innocent day but all the good things that happened from eleven to seven has just flung out of the window by that crap you just said to me.

Damn. Check this outttt

I have a secret addiction to Lazytown. The pink hair and gay Sportecus and the fact that he's only eaten fruits his entire life.

I want these twister bed sheets! Hahaha.

Okay Bob's talking to me and after uploading all these awesome thingys, I feel better already.

2008-12-08T21:19:00.000-08:00

I know I'm bored when I watch Mamma Mia! 5 times in 4 days, sing their songs when I'm about to sleep(Yes I've been brokenhearted, blue since the day we parted:D), and personally read the bios of Meryl Streep, Amanda Seyfield and Pierce Brosnan. Moan abt my missing handphone and the bitch who took my wallet, and watch the Amazing Race on AXN then on Channel 5(haha) and Camp Rock replay itself 2 times. Need to get a life):

I had the bestest dream ever that still leaves me smiling when I think about it.

Every time I see you falling
I'll get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for the final moment
You say the words that I can't say

I think we're about to see what we're meant to be. love

2008-11-29T22:06:00.000-08:00

There’s so much craziness, surrounding me
There’s so much going on, it gets hard to breathe
All my faith has gone, you bring it back to me
You make it real for me.

2008-11-22T05:25:00.000-08:00

Gahhh I do NOT want to blog but I read this one oh-soooo-irritating paragraph and...

Okay well nevermind, I don't know why I'm staring at this page. I'm going batam from next tuesday to friday and I just realized that's a long time AAH! I'll miss people. I'll miss Esther of course cos she's such a bacin and she gave me yummy sweets that taste like Impact during hiking. Btw I liked hiking although it was quite short. Ohwell my New Year's Resolution will be to hike.all.day! (:

You don't have to act like you know what's going around you. You don't know shit and it's not like you got the whole story. All you got was looking too desperate to save a friendship but I guess you look desperate in everything you do so long as you keep trying to impress people. For what? Clean up your act and get a life.

Sorry that maybe you think I'm not good enough to be your friend. But I'm not sorry that you're so harsh, judgemental and selfish. (This is to the other you.)

I am going to get Hokkaido chocolates from Ra Ra very soon! I miss chocolates):

If there's no one beside you,
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark.

2008-11-19T08:18:00.001-08:00

Tonight was a good night to cry for the first time in a long time.

I owe alot of quizzes but this one looks gooood ey.

q1) Do people treat you as side dish?
Sometimes, but what they eventually get is dessert.

q2) What's your most favourite thing to do?
Go shopping. Listen to sounds. Go out.

q3) What is the first thing that comes to your mind of when you think of love?
The heart shape.

q4) What kind of boyfriend/girlfriend do you want?
Funny! Does not need to be drop-dead gorgeous but acceptable and most of all, caring.

q5) Is there somebody in your heart right now?
Alot of people are in my heart right now.

q6) Do you believe that you can survive without money?
I can survive without money but I'll find a way to get money so in the end, I'm still surviving with money,

q7) Are you afraid of pain?
They say the fear of pain hurts worse than the pain itself. hahahahaha cheemcheem.

q8) What do you feel like doing now?
Going to the beach.

q9) If there is someone you love, will you confess to him/her?
Depends on the boy in question and whether he's attached or not.

q10) List 5 things/people you dislike now.
-that person who flirts alot just to get self-assurance that she's pretty read: get a life!
-my mom
-the mouse cos it's all cocked up
-you cos you treat me as a side dish even though you'll eventually get dessert
-The fact that it's already 1.15 a.m.

q11) What is your 5 most passionate things at the moment?
NCC. Alpha '08. Interacting with people. My guitar. kentalansxzx

q12) If you have to eat 1 thing for your whole life, what would that be??
This is the question from The Sunday Times life! interview with chefs.Freshly baked brownies/nasi tomato

q13) If you have a chance to be rich or happy, which one will you choose?
Happy. That's a richness in itself.

q14) If you have the chance, which part of your character would you like to change?
The fact that whenever someone pisses me off, I keep it inside me and I tell myself everything will be okay in the end when it won't and all I end up with is losing a little of my faith in the whole wide world.

q15) If you are unhappy, what will you do?
Music.

q16) Which country do you like the most?
The U.S./Europe.

Q17. Which is your favourite designer?
Stella McCartney(: Oh but I don't do designer, I do Haji Lane and Bugis and Far East.

Q18. Are you happy?
That's a subjective term.

Q19. What is the weirdest thing that happened in your life?
The fact that I actually a_____ s______.

Sorry about the last question, but I can't tell you that. So it's for me to know and you to find out. Shooting was boo-yayy!

It's so quiet now I love it. I want to treasure every single moment of the morning because I can get lost in my own world and the www. And I can listen to sounds more intently like the CPU the refrigerator the MSN alert.

Too bad you can't hang on to everything.

2008-11-16T23:15:00.000-08:00

Dik, aku pinta, kau akan selalu setia.

I've been wanting to blog but somehow when I actually get to this page I'm at a loss of words to write.

I want to...
Run away from waves with you guys again.
Find my wallet):
Sort my room out.
Find out who's Aqilah's secret text buddy.
Do the thousands of quizzes that I'm so lazy to do.
Catch up on my shows.
Thrash you.

These days I get text messages that make me smile(: Shooting's tomorrow, all the best to the four of you! Yay.

And after all, you're my wonderwall.

I'm hardcore.

2008-11-08T07:06:00.000-08:00

Somehow I'd never thought I'd say this but if I can't find someone to go with for HSM3, I'll feel really sad deep down. The kind of feelings you get when you want to watch Coldplay live but your exams are next week.

Speaking of exams, PSLE religious examss are in 9 days and I have not started. Sweet nibblets brahvee diyanah brahvee. shooting's on 18th and I think you can't skip PSLE for shooting but it's kind of retarded when you think about it. "Ustazah, saya tak boleh ambik PSLE, saya ada tembak." Shitzoh.

I am doing a complete wardrobe overhaul and all the bullshit I have worn for the past 3 years can just go fly a kite, go off to the Bahamas or something.

And way the by, I am really interested in Integrated Programme right now. And 3 people have bombed me and giving all kinds of reasons why I shouldn't go secretly I feel fascinated cause I know they'll miss me so much if I really do go.

I missed my lalabes suddenly.
I'm hardcore.

2008-11-05T03:16:00.000-08:00

OBAMA WON!

"If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.

"It's the answer told by lines that stretched around schools and churches in numbers this nation has never seen; by people who waited three hours and four hours, many for the very first time in their lives, because they believed that this time must be different; that their voice could be that difference.

"It's the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Latino, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled - Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been a collection of Red States and Blue States: we are, and always will be, the United States of America.

"I will listen to you... I will ask you join in the work of remaking this nation... Block by block, brick by brick, callused hand by callused hand."

America did the right thing for once.

2008-11-04T11:02:00.000-08:00

Aaaah it's 3 in the morning right now and I'm feeling so mushy and grinny and tingly inside becos of Newport Harbor.

Oh my gosh I should stop getting addicted to these kind of shows.

You should see how the guys asked the girls to prom and how Clay made up with Chrissy.
I'm in love with LA scenery. And actually it's kind of late I'm wide awake but still asleep you know? I bet when I read this again on a sane day I'll wonder why the hell I wrote this but nevermind, I feel so nice now because of Newport.

Okay one last time!

Banner from a car and through that loudspeaker whatchacallit:PROM WITH G?
Speedboating around Newport Beach and this banner hangs from a bridge: CHRISSY, PROM?

I swear if a guy does this to me it'll be the sweetest thing ever.
If you're a fan of Newport Harbor/Gossip Girl/90210/Privileged join the club.
Hahaha okay I should get some rest now when my body says I'm hungry it means I need sleep.

2008-10-31T06:55:00.000-07:00

What I've been up to.

Jamming with Little Miss Guitar hahaha you should see the calluses on my fingers further emphasised by dehydration from camp. I want a Taylor!!! Or Gibson. Or Fender. I get so bored these days I can even sleep with my guitar out of tiredness and boredom, yes I can.

Gossip Girl. I've been catching up on this bitchy-but-oh-so-lovable show.

Camp Feast: exhausted and my head is still abit of a mess from it, but oh how I want the night staying up with Raqibah crapping about all the parades we've had until we got so tired from tallking. And Alpha!(:

Haha Hazirawrr told me this Drake & Josh episode which is hell funny.

{drake: ohhhhhh my something opponent, are you ready to ping the pong?
josh: woooooah i am prepared to blahblah, your pong is no match for my ping
then you know when they playing like very good ah, skali drake duck the pingpong ball then smashed the window and drake was like
"YOU SMASHED THE WINDOW OF TRANSPARENCY."}

HazyyWazyy is making me addicted to Priveleged and 90210 and back-to-back shows of shows like Drake&Josh, The Suite Life and sumoreess. Haha shitt

Life's been stagnant. I need entertainment in the form of real people, I should think.

I need a date for HSM3.

I can't resist the day.

2008-10-23T17:07:00.000-07:00

It's okay you've tried your best and you did really good. By this time reality would have started to sink in, no? and I am just very annoyed at some people who want to push my buttons. It's the first day of the holidays. Ok go

Now we're spinning empty bottles.
It's the five of us.
I'm so excited I haven't spoken.
(And she's so pretty, and she's so sure
Maybe I'm more clever than a girl like her.)

It's alright and it's nice not to be so alone
But I hold on to all your secrets in white houses.

We gave each other up so easily.
(These silly little wounds will never mend.)
I feel so far from where I've been.
I lie, put my injuries all in the dust.
In my heart is the five of us in white houses.

(And you, maybe you'll remember me.
What I gave is yours to keep.)
In white houses.

I didn't know where the pltn fit but hais, nevermind. Next Wednesdayyyy! Camp.Feast.

2008-10-22T06:43:00.000-07:00

"Is she really going out with him?"

Yo! I've been through alot of self-evaluation lately, mostly because Change is coming. Been immersing myself in cliche-but-somehow-satisfying romance books over the past three days; I think I've read about nine or ten. Aaahh see don't come to me if you need love advice for the next week at least I'll dish you a bucketful of those "Love is Blind" shit(:

School ends tomorrow. Like really last day, I will never be called a Secondary 1 again because that part of my life is over. Cedar..some things I didn't expect, some I regretted and didn't, some that changed my direction in life completely. Wow. Haha.
So have you felt it?...Or are you not even going to. I'm hanging on to it, reaady to let go.

You know something weird about me? I hate dots and I always feel the need to listen to music and sleep if I'm on the bus, especially the morning bus. If I don't, I'll get frustrated and purposely turn off the Walkman and hear TV Mobile/people talking with my earphones still plugged to my ears. It's like listening to someone breathe over the phone. Muffled but still clear. But now I'm always awake on the bus I'm either RRB(reading romance books)-ing or too distracted by everyone walking past me.

Nobody really catches my eye though. Factory workers opposite my school dress up really..boringly. Oh but today someone attracted my attention-because she sat beside me. Her iPod was on Saosin and she kept staring at me. That was all. haha

Hey, you.
I still remember I won't forget.

2008-10-17T16:41:00.000-07:00

Have you ever felt like you could just get out of this helluva cycle which is mainly get up and work your ass off(without considering the fact it's after EYEs) and go back home and have at least one heated conversation with Mum? I want someone to whisk me off to someplace Smallville maybe I've always wanted to go there for one night and come back home before anyone finds out what's going on.

Like Peter Pan.

In Smallville Peter Pan will drive me along a straight road that goes on for miles and miles and I'll get to taste country wind and see corn fields and witness dozens of stars in the night sky, for once. We'll stop where there's moist grass and he'll give me chewing gum. We'll lie there while I chew and listen to Lifehouse.

Haha funny man, get a life.

This week I feel cramped lately. I need some space, I need liberal permission to fly. Maybe it's because I need to bother with other stuff I could take a backseat on with studies in mind. I miss studying actually the solace or excuse you give to everyone when you just want to be alone. And stuffing my mind with crap I know I'd probably forget when I'm thirty. Haha yes I miss studying.

Pelatun-mates have been so weird-cool lately. We'll come up to each other and start a conversation with some fuckaries and be so unattentive to each other we're attentive. Get it? And bitch about other people.

I want to share some secrets. I wonder if you feel the same too.

I have that ASEAN thing on Monday cool I want to see Asian people haha. Funny isn't it? I don't think of myself as Asian I think of myself as a Malay, never Asian. I want to start trying coffee sometime kick the fact that my cousin gives me a sip of some Starbucks latte every other week whattheshit, she should know they waste 23 million litres of water per day before Tuesday this week.

2008-10-13T04:31:00.000-07:00

When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am.

Cause sooner or later it's over.
And yet I won't give up anything for that.

(: Discovery. We never could hide the truth that we slid behind our backs all this while, you know. Just needed time hell everything needs time.

2008-10-10T08:29:00.000-07:00

YOU KNOW WHAT THE STUPID THING IS?!
It's in St. James Power Station.
And the thought of actually seeing Jason Wade live is poofed just because the concert's gonna be held in a nightclub.

OHMYGOSH I can't believe I'm actually missing this):
ANDD, the opening performance is gonna be by Jack & Rai!
I feel down just missing this event.

2008-10-09T05:35:00.000-07:00

(Stripped down torn about it)

I've returned to blogger. Missed meee? I know blogger did.

Results were a total hit-by-a-four-by-four disastrous): I broke down actually but I laughed after that. Cause I'm such a loser, that's why. Anyway! It made me realize that platoonmates mean to me, alot, or I would be worse than a PMS-like-a-bitch now. Nadiahh especially, and parade was awh-somee. Just being with the whole platoon again is like (:

I'm still hurt you know. Or do you? What I want, or wanted maybe, is just you all telling me to my face that I'm just not that important. I can take it in. I really can. Perhapss, sometimes you just have to expect the worst everytime so you'll never be disappointed.

ANND, the next person who comments that I probably got an A1 for Lit/English I am going to throttle you and put you inside the shit truck that came today. I still need cheering up):I miss partaspecs.